Here I sit, not doing the work I need to do, not doing anything but hurting. This morning, I awoke feeling sad, defeated, and frozen, without knowing why. These strong feelings stopped me in my tracks. Yes, I call myself a mindset expert, but I am also human. I wandered around my home, avoiding anything productive.
The worst part? I asked myself the wrong questions, intensifying my negative mindset and pulling me further from my goals. Here are the wrong questions I asked:
Why do I feel this way? Why today?
What is wrong with me? What caused these intense feelings?
How did I get here? How did I mess up?
When will this ever end?
Answering these questions only led me further away from my purpose. Here are some of the negative responses. You sure don’t need to hear them all.
You can’t get this right.
When will you ever learn?
You are never enough. (And yes, I hear the song too!)
When will you ever be perfect?
Telling a friend about these feelings made me realize they don’t happen as often as I thought. These questions are a pattern, a habit that I don't fall into much anymore, but a fading path still lingers and it happens sometimes.
So, I interrupted the pattern. I breathed deeply, took a short walk, ate a good breakfast, and began writing to brain-dump my thoughts. Seeing my feelings in words, I recognized the old pattern of reacting to life. Yes, some hard stuff is happening, but good stuff is also going on. I didn’t mention any of the good things in my initial assessment.
Use steps 1-5 to clear your mind and emotions. Then, empower your mind by applying the sixth suggestion. Here’s what I did to turn it around:
Interrupt the Pattern: Do something unexpected and disruptive. Clap your hands, stand up quickly, or shout "Stop!" Move your body to a different space, even if it's one step away.
Breathe: Take a deep, slow breath in through your nose, hold it for a moment, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this 3-5 times to calm your mind and body, creating a space for conscious decision-making.
Brain Dump: Write down all the negative thoughts until there's nothing left. Don’t worry about neatness. Read it, maybe out loud to yourself.
Acknowledge Accomplishments: Recognize and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Say, "I noticed the habit and chose to stop. That's a win!" Write down your accomplishments in a journal. Remember to look at your progress often.
Ask Yourself Powerful Questions: Shift your focus and mindset with these questions: "What is the outcome I truly desire?" Refocus on your long-term goals and the positive changes you want. "What can I do right now that aligns with my goals?" Encourage immediate action supporting your desired habit change. "What strengths and resources do I have to support this change?" Reflect on your strengths and resources to build confidence. "How will I feel once I've taken these positive actions?" Visualize the positive emotions associated with your success. "What small step can I take today to move closer to my goal?" Identify and take manageable steps to make the process less overwhelming.
Act: Use the above steps to create a new pattern of mindset. Each time you do this, it will get easier, and start a new habit that you will not want to break!
Writing this article has put me back on the right path. I hope it makes a difference for you. What do you do to create a mindset reset? (Thanks, Cheryl Elman, for the phrase!)
Comentarios