Change your mind, change your life. It's a phrase often uttered, sometimes with casual indifference, but is it truly shallow? I firmly believe it's not. Allow me to share a personal story.
At the close of August, I found myself the victim of a malicious hacking and fraud scheme. These culprits infiltrated my bank accounts, Google, Gmail, eBay, Venmo, Facebook, and even my credit cards, establishing multiple avenues of access. Days turned into sleepless nights as I tirelessly attempted to outmaneuver them. I switched banks not once but twice, with payments bouncing and financial turmoil seemingly inescapable. It felt like a relentless, unending nightmare. While the situation has improved, it still lingers, albeit to a lesser degree.
During this tumultuous period, I also endured the heartbreaking loss of loved ones, compounding my challenges. Predictably, my body reacted by subjecting me to emotional turbulence, reminiscent of my teenage years. One moment I was soaring, and the next, I was crashing, emotions running rampant. It felt as though I was caught in a raging storm, hurtling towards an abyss, unable to break free. I started telling myself the old, disempowering stories – narratives I'd been fed throughout my formative years, tales of past victimization and failures, all distorted, unhelpful, and one-sided. It was, as they say, a perfect storm.
Yet (I love that word), amid all the chaos and despair, I didn't give up on seeking a solution. I was reminded of some invaluable insights, inspired by the wisdom of Dorothy Zennuriye Juno, a psychotherapist and meditation teacher in Canada, as well as my own expertise and experience.
When overwhelmed by unpleasant emotions, take a step back. For me, this means heading outdoors, lying in the grass, reaching out to a friend, going for a walk, practicing tapping, and engaging in self-hypnosis to elevate my perspective to gain a more comprehensive view of my situation.
Reflect on your reactions when they don't align with your desired response. Ask yourself, "What was I thinking?" Listen to your inner dialogue, or jot it down. Slow down and pay attention to your thoughts – you can keep a journal or dispose of the paper, but the act of writing helps expose the root of these thoughts, bringing them to light.
Challenge your thoughts by asking, "Where is the evidence that X, Y, or Z is true?" Make an effort to substantiate these thoughts. More often than not, they contain a kernel of truth, but rarely do they encompass the complete, accurate, or valid truth.
Reimagine your story rather than accepting it at face value. Construct alternative perspectives that support and empower you while maintaining honesty with yourself. Acknowledge any past mistakes and devise a plan to rectify them. Envision the relief that comes with letting go of unfounded accusations.
When confronted with unpleasant emotions, ask yourself how you want to act or behave to achieve the best possible outcome in a given situation.
Recognize undesirable states of mind and shift your thoughts BEFORE taking action.
By applying these techniques to my own situation, I managed to transition from the turmoil of the past, the specter of victimization, and the emotional storm to embrace my competent self. ( I know, I know...it's so dramatic) I began taking action in line with the person I know myself to be.
Have you ever found yourself trapped in a personal storm? How did you manage to alter your course and progress? If these strategies resonate with you, I invite you to share your experiences.
Here's a straightforward technique applicable to various situations that can swiftly transform your state of mind, enabling you to act as you desire.
Emotional Detox Technique Learned from Kelly Woods
1. Get in touch with the uncomfortable feeling you are having.
2. Give it a rating between 1 and 10, with 10 being the highest intensity.
3. Isolate where you feel it in your body as that makes for some awareness.
4. Choose a fist and squeeze it, just squeeze it for a few moments while you feel those
unpleasant emotions, those unpleasant sensations.
5. And then release that hand and take a big, nice cleansing breath. You can gently close your
eyes and then open them.
6. Then allow yourself to go to your idea of a perfect moment. It doesn’t have to be a happy
place, although it can. But it can be just a nice meal with someone you enjoy, or spending
time in the garden, sitting under a big tree –you can choose. Just put yourself there and use
all your senses to figure out what it is about this scene that feels better to you.
7. When you are there go ahead and make a fist with your opposite hand, and just hold it for a
few moments. And then release it.
8. Take another deep relaxing breath, close your eyes, and open them. You might want to think
about a triangle, then put a square inside that triangle, and then put a circle inside the square.
9. Now in this part you are going to create a physiological shift in your brain. Make fists out of
both hands and count backward from 5 to 1.
Now take a nice deep inhale and as you exhale release your hands. Notice how good you feel now. When you go back to think about the original uncomfortable state, rate it on the scale. Perhaps it has disappeared altogether but at the very least it will be reduced by quite a bit. Then you can better choose the actions you want to take.